In life we often come to know ourselves to a greater degree as we come to a greater understanding of our parents. The speaker in Robert HaydenÆs ôThose Winter Sundaysö and the narrator in Raymond CarverÆs ôMy FatherÆs Lifeö also come to just such a fuller understanding of their parents and themselves.
In ôThose Winter Sundays,ö the speaker remembers his childhood days by remembering how his father with ôcracked handsö that ôachedö from ôlabourö would rise in the ôblueblack coldö to start a fire for the rest of the family (Hayden 1). The speaker is now mature, but remembers when he would ôspeak indifferentlyö to his father and didnÆt understand ôloveÆs austere and lonely officesö (Hayden 1). Now that the speaker is older, he understands how much his father, though austere and angry at times, sacrificed for his family because he loved them.
In ôMy FatherÆs Life,ö Carver (1) provides an account of his namesake father, one who, like the father in HaydenÆs poem, sacrifices due to necessity and not self-interest, ôI donÆt think he dreamed much. I believe he was simply looking for steady work at decent pay.ö This father is not quite as devoted to his family, though, as he cavorts with ôflooziesö and drinks ôraw whiskeyö to excess (Carver 3). The narrator grows up distanced from his father who experiences an illness that wipes him out until he slowly recovers. The narrator also has a difficult time staying away from alcohol. At his fatherÆs funeral, the narrator breaks down in tears, realizing how similar he and his father are: ôWhat I do remember is that I heard our name used a lot that afternoon, my dadÆs name and mineö (Carver 6). Therefore, both the speaker and narrator in these works learn more about themselves by coming to a fuller understanding of their fathersÆ nature.
Carver, Raymond. ôMy FatherÆs Life.ö Viewed on Mar 7, 2005: http://www.wsu.edu/~hugh
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